Fort Lauderdale Bans the Sharing of Money

Following the shocking arrest of a 90-year old war veteran for breaking new laws against ‘sharing food publicly’, Mayor Jack Seiler has now enforced new regulations about the sharing of Money:

“The American dream is built on the model of capitalism, and any giving of money where a there is not a fair exchange of money for goods or services is a direct attack on this model” Say Mayor Sell-out, err Seiler.

And the arrests have already begun, around 50 people have already been arrested for giving money to charities to which they will not personally benefit. The law stipulates that you can give money to a charity so long as you may benefit from it; “if you have cancer then give money to cancer charities” said the Mayor. We asked Mayor Jack; who is going to give money to charities for the homeless?

“The homeless people of course! They need to learn how to create a profitable business model, and hand-outs are not going to help them, nor you if you give it because that would be against the law!”

We spoke to a local pastor who notes that they are now having to charge admissions fees to their churches:

“We were told that the collection plate was an act of giving without reciprocal receiving so was against the law. We now have to charge admission; this puts a standard fee in place for all which many cannot afford, but the law is the law and Jesus liked people who obeyed the law so he must like this law, I guess.”

Finally, we spoke to a local law enforcement officer for their views. This man or woman did not want to be identified so as to protect themselves:

“I’ve had to stop giving to charities for health conditions because I’m fit and well. My wife is very ill, but she is unable to work so can’t give money herself, but I consider it an honour to uphold the law. If the law says that we can’t feed the homeless then I am proud to uphold this law; if we can’t give money then I am proud to uphold the law!”

This money and food that is being shared with the homeless could be going to feeding our troops at home and abroad; the brave service men and women who help make our nation great” said Mayor Seiler.

We tried to point out to him that ex-service personnel often are unable to find work, often due to psychological distress and end up homeless, so not giving food could be an act against service personnel, but unfortunately at this point a man was seen giving a French-fry to a homeless person and he sped off to enforce the law!
Why not sign the petition to change the law on sharing food:

Please consider giving to local and international charities to support those who may be less well of than yourself:
Oxfams Ebola Crisis Appeal:
Help get soldiers off the street:
Donate to food banks, like the Trussell Trust:

Fort Lauderdale cracks down on the sharing of food
Up to a quarter of homeless people are ex service personnel in the UK


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